Cover photo: Mother and son on a sailing day. Patricia and Joshua Elie. Photo by Peter Elie.
By Joshua Elie
Back in the ’80s, when I was going to Baldwin schools, the “Yo mama‘” jokes were “king.” Non-stop ribbing all the time about anything and everything. Some of us never grow out of it. Friendly sarcasm is just a way of blowing off steam and making heavy things “light.” Often, it is the only way to keep your sanity when your job is so high stress, and you’re seeing things nobody should ever have to see. This is what life is like for police officers, firefighters, medical professionals and soldiers.
With Memorial Day and Armed Forces Day coming up, I look up at my grandparents’ generation’s flags, all folded in their cases on a shelf I built above my front door. They were military ⸺ WWII and Korea. As we get out our BBQs and lift our glasses, remember our warriors and maybe even say a prayer of thanks for our military heroes doing things that need to be done, things few of us are capable of.
We have other heroes, too. Moms. Especially single moms. Just like there is no such thing as an ex-Marine, there is no such thing as an ex-mom, even after the kids are grown and have started families of their own. I don’t know how they do it; I don’t think they even know how they do it. They just find ways, never looking for anything in return other than healthy, happy kids.
Moms I’ve known
JO: I met Jo about 15 years ago. She had just escaped back to the U.S. from the Seychelle Islands (Africa) where she had no roof, two babies to feed and a river for washing their clothes. You met Jo in my story, “Dancing in the Kitchen”, and if you didn’t, you can read it online at: freshwater-reporter.com/dancing-in-the-kitchen.
STACY: I haven’t seen Stacy in, maybe, 25 years. She had a full-time job, went to school, and every Friday she would leave Wellston right after work, drive straight through the night (no stops) to Florida to pick up her kids, bring them back to Wellston, then get them back to Florida in time for school Monday morning, just to spend time with them.
TONI: Toni’s husband abandoned her and their son Gabriel (Gabe) when he was 6, leaving them with nothing: no alimony, no child support and no communication. To make things worse, she had MS, but, somehow, she found ”ways.” She did all the traditional “mom” stuff, teaching Gabe how to cook and do laundry, and showering him with hugs, kisses, prayers and kind words. She did all the expected “dad” stuff, too, teaching him how to shave, fish, throw a ball, hunt safely, mow a lawn and shovel snow. She shared with him her work ethic for doing chores, took him to monster truck rallies, taught him about the “birds and bees” and even tutored him in survival techniques when their home burned down. She taught him how to cut branches to build a fire, how to cook and heat up water from the stream for cleaning and bathing, and how to use oil lamps for light and kerosene heaters for heat.
Today, Gabe has a great job, has held it for years, and he’s always willing to take on double shifts, even if he must walk miles in the middle of winter, in the dark. In the last photo I saw of him, he was replacing the side mirror on his mother’s Blazer.
“It wasn’t always a picnic in the park, and it was rough more times than I care to count,” Toni told me. “But we made it!”
Moms’ appreciation day
How much sleep deprivation can a human handle? Ask a mom. Another question would be, when are men going to “man up” and take care of their families? Many do, though far too many do not.
Even with a great husband, my mother still worked full time, kept house and taught me basic spelling, reading and math before I even started kindergarten. She was always there for anything I needed and still is. Later, she taught me how to do my own laundry, got me started cooking and, in my rebellious teenage years, had blisters on her knees from countless hours of praying for me.
Some people get a few days or even a whole month of recognition, but moms only get one day a year. Show your appreciation. Flowers and cards are always great and, if you know her favorite treat, hook yo mama up. Her feet still hurt … and you know it is all because of you! Make it really count this May 14.
Elie’s Lemon Bars
(My mother’s favorite)
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sifted powdered sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter (1-1/2 sticks)
4 slightly beaten egg
1-1/2 cups granulated sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon lemon zest
3/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup milk
powdered sugar
Crust: In a large bowl, combine 2 cups flour, 1/2 cup powdered sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Using a pastry blender, cut in butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Press mixture into a parchment paper-lined 13” x 9” x 2” baking pan. Always remember to cut off the excess parchment paper. Bake at 350 degrees for 18-20 minutes or until the edges are golden brown.
Filling: In a medium bowl, mix eggs, granulated sugar, 3 Tbs flour, lemon zest, lemon juice, and milk. Pour into hot crust.
Bake for 20 minutes or more, until the center is set. Refrigerate, then sift powdered sugar over the top and cut into bars. Cover and store in the refrigerator.
READ MORE STORIES BY JOSHUA ELIE HERE AND HIS BIO HERE.
