By Joshua Elie
Photo of a chaffle burger by J. Elie.
Growing up in a musical family, I learned early on that musicians don’t get sick days. Come rain, sleet or flu, you still must show up or lose your gig and reputation.
One time, I was hosting one of the Country (Music) Showdown programs (formerly “Star Search”), and my B-3 (organ) player John Lawson came back from a Cuban tour with what I dubbed the “Cuban Death Flu.” He shared it with all of us in the band. COVID-19 is practically a runny nose compared to what we went through for those “kids with dreams of stardom in the music world.”
Sidelined in a gown
Something not commonly known ⸺ though happens far more often than you would think to skinny, tall, athletic young males ⸺ is a scary condition called “spontaneous pneumothorax.” This is caused by not having enough fat between the lungs and the rib cage. The lung blisters, a blister pops and the lung collapses, filling with blood. You may have seen the non-spontaneous version (resulting from an accident) on TV, in which they insert a tube into the side of the chest. I will spare you the gory details, though my doctor did tell me it is far more painful than what a woman giving birth experiences.
So, there I was, in the hospital, tube going from my lung to this portable suction box, and a gig to perform. This is how I learned the difference between a friend and a true friend. A friend will take you to the hospital, but a true friend will help you escape. I missed the Friday show, though after hospital staff saw me singing, playing guitar and harp (harmonica), they decided to let me play my Saturday show and, no, not because I was being a nuisance. The patients on Friday were turning off their TVs, the nurses were bopping around, and the doctors were asking me if I had ever considered playing for patients professionally. Music therapy is a real job.
Saturday, I couldn’t sing full out and had to sit in a chair, but I still played the entire night.
There are many different diets out there. Some people go on them for healthier living. Some, like me, have to for medical reasons, and some for religious beliefs. I have researched many and have yet to find one I could not only make palatable but enjoyable.
The gig is up: gluten-free chaffles
I have always been thin living in a world where it seems everybody else is trying to lose weight. I have a challenge going with Toni, a close friend, who has been extremely successful at losing weight on a Keto diet. I have been doing well on a diet to gain weight by boosting my ghrelin count. Ghrelin is known as the “hungry hormone,” and you can control how much your body produces by what you eat. I am up 25 pounds, and she is down 30 pounds, so Toni is winning, as usual. We trade recipes all the time, which is our thing, and she introduced me to a recipe that is fantastic. You can eat them like regular waffles, substitute them for any kind of bread, or enjoy them plain. They are gluten free, only one carb per chaffle (115 Kcal, 1 net carb per plain chaffle), and, best of all, they are simple to make.
Toni’s Keto Chaffles
Yield: 4 mini chaffles
Prep time: 5 min. Cook time: 20 min.
Ingredients:
2 eggs
1 cup shredded cheese, a type that melts easily
Heat your mini waffle iron. In a medium mixing bowl, beat 2 eggs until well blended and frothy. Mix in the cup of shredded cheese. Grease the inside of your iron with butter, (for the first one). Drop 2 tablespoons batter onto the hot iron and spread it some. Close the lid and start your timer for 4 minutes. Be mindful when placing the batter on the iron; it will ooze over the sides of the iron if it’s overfilled. Remove the completed mini chaffle and place on a cooling rack while you make the others. Chomp in and enjoy the practically zero-carb bliss.
Joshua Elie is a musician and retired building contractor. He now enjoys life as a homesteader.
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