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Story and photos by Joshua Elie

I don’t know why they called our job Ski Patrol ⸺ not at that resort, anyway. Granted, if somebody were to make a total arse of themselves, it was a ski patroller’s job to deal with it, but I never once saw that behavior. What I did see was little kids on the children’s runs, people there for relaxed fun in the snow with friends, and thrill-seekers looking to push their limits, yet respectful of others. Everyone was there just to have a good time, and maybe that is a kind of kryptonite to negative people.

The job was almost all medical and rarely anything serious: put the injured on a sled and ski them into our little med shop, patch them up, and (practically never) call the EMS. Usually, our “patients” would catch a ride with friends to Urgent Care if they needed help beyond what we could handle.  The pay back then wasn’t much, and there weren’t many hours, so it was basically ski for free at the coolest ski resort I have ever known, Caberfae Peaks.

The interesting part is why I was there for a such a brief time. They are their busiest between Christmas and New Year’s. I told them before I took the job that I would be sailing with my dad in the Florida Keys the week prior to Christmas and that I would be back in time, and I was. But that’s not the entire story.

Ad for Grand Traverse REgional Land Conservancy is of a lush, green forest floor with white trillium lining a wooded pathway through the woods. It reads: The land and trails provide a tranquility I find nowhere else. Love being outdoors and on the trails! A Grand Traverse REgional Land Conservancy volunteer. Click on this ad to be taken to the website.Advertisement for Honor Onekama Building Supply. Family owned since 1963. Knowledge. Service, Integrity. Here to help you with your hardware and building projects. Call 231-889-3456. Located at 4847 Main Street, Onekama. Click on this ad to be taken to the website.Keep the press rolling at Freshwater Reporter. Like what you're reading? Your donations and our advertising partners helped us break even in 2024. Thank you to those of you who contributed! Haven't donated yet? Click on this ad.
The Stuffed Pig diner in the Florida Keys serves a great Alfredo seafood omelet. Photo by Joshua Elie.
The Stuffed Pig.

While I was in the Keys, I got stopped by the harbor police and ticketed for not having a “noise-producing device,” basically, “no whistle on my dingy.” Anyway, this setback behind us, off we went sailing the next day. Maybe a mile out of Boot Key Harbor, the pin that secures the front main stay popped out, allowing the mast pole to come crashing down. For those of you who don’t know much about sailing, the tall pipe rising from the middle of a sailboat is that “mast pole,” and it is held in place by a bunch of cables called “stays.”  When the mast pole came down, it was only by divine intervention that it didn’t fall on any of us, but the sheet fell in the water and got caught in the prop.

Now, all the Florida Keys are sand … except for this one tiny island-sized hunk of hard shale. It’s like a big, sharp rock they call “Gilligan’s Island”, so we ended up literally stranded on … Yep. My wallet, with all my I.D., including my BLS (Basic Life Saving) certification, was lost on that mournful day, the last the Gypsy Wind would ever sail.

A plate of ham fettuccine Alfredo with miniature red, orange and yellow sweet peppers on top. Photo by Joshua Elie.
Ham fettuccine Alfredo.

Skipping ahead, the only identification I had left to catch my flight home was that dingy/whistle ticket! I called the airport, told them what happened, they called the U.S. Coast Guard, and the Coasties confirmed it.

When I got back to Caberfae, owner Tim asked for my BLS. Of course, I had lost it, and when I tried to tell him what happened, he wasn’t buying the stranded-on-Gilligan’s- Island bit. I don’t blame him; I wouldn’t have bought it, either!

Through everything, I was still able to frequent my favorite restaurant for breakfast in all the Florida Keys, The Stuffed Pig. Their kitchen’s seafood omelet paired with a Bloody Mary is like waking up in heaven. You have probably tasted Alfredo (the Italian cream sauce) on pasta or pizza, but have you ever had it in an omelet?

That’s the way they do it at the Pig, using the best crustaceans, like crab and shrimp; mollusks, like clams and oysters; and fresh spinach. The best thing about this and other Italian sauces is that they are so multi-purpose. Boil noodles or break some eggs … and anchors away!

Elie’s Alfredo Sauce

1/2 cup butter
8 oz package cream cheese
2 tsp garlic powder
2 cups milk
6 oz grated Parmesan cheese
1/8 tsp ground black pepper

Mush the cream cheese a bit, and let it come to room temperature. Melt butter in big saucepan, and stir in garlic powder. Add the cream cheese and stir, adding milk a little at a time until smooth. Rarely does the recipe need the entire 2 cups of milk, though it’s good to have that much on hand. Careful not to overheat, which can cause separation and curdling. Add black pepper. If it doesn’t thicken enough after cooling, add a little more cheese.

Joshua Elie is a musician and retired building contractor. He now enjoys life as a homesteader.

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